An ounce of initiative is worth five pounds of intention
The dating landscape is littered with hundreds of thousands of fallen intentions strewn by the roadside. Introductions not made, phone calls not placed, offers not extended. Relationship potential unrealized. All from lack of the secret sauce. A connection seems so close, but the electrical current doesn’t flow.
So what element is so powerful that it kick starts every relationship?
There was something different about the onset of the 2007 for me. It was becoming clear that I was done. Done with frustration over my own lack of moxie I made a resolution. This was the year I was going to take initiative!
This was going to be the year that I found my wife!
Instead of allowing the pursuit of my wife to be written in second person, I started taking first person action. Under God’s mighty hand I began to move out!
Initiative is eagerness to do something. This is a noun that is packed with verb force. Do something. Make that approach. Send that message. Put yourself out there.
In marriage pursuit, initiative is the necessary injection of energy, drive, and confidence that accompanies every relational beginning. Men don’t get off the ground without it. Showing a woman you are interested in that you have the inner gusto to take the first step towards her is a must. Women are wired to look for a man who can wrestle with the world and early displays of initiative speak loudly to this deep instinct.
The desire was longstanding, but I had to learn how to funnel it into pure initiative. Too much of me was being siphoned off and I had to take some drastic measures to learn to channel my marriage pursuit. Here are the key ingredients that enabled me to brew a batch of secret sauce and turbo-charge my pursuit of marriage.
1. Gave Myself Permission
I know this sounds silly, but I was so committed to the ministry that I had to grant myself an excuse slip from a layer of this noble activity so that I could be available to genuinely undertake a full-fledged pursuit of a woman. Now I had permission to say no to certain events and create some schedule margin. This personal acknowledgement of my goal strengthened my resolve. The most important human voice (myself) in my life had agreed that it was time to pursue marriage and therefore it began!
2. Calendared Time
With my new Macbook I used the calendar feature to create a color coded category (gold) for “marriage”. This would finally give me the necessary internal space to really pursue. Marriage pursuit was no longer confined to the scraps of my life, after I had worked on everything and served everyone else. It now had a solid lane of it’s own, and with this allotment of time I began to move much more quickly toward to the goal-every week, consistent determined action.
3. Started Asking
I got in the regular practice of asking out worthy candidates. It was amazing how non-threatening this natural interaction can be when a guy relaxes and operates with confidence, not an arrogance of expecting every inquiry to be immediately received, but a sense that he is moving in the right direction. Of course certain connections wouldn’t go through. A girl may already be in a serious relationship or just not be interested in me, but once I trusted God that something would eventually work out and my heart cry to marry my wife would become a reality, I carried on with a heightened tenacity. Respectful rejection become powerful progression, until one day one a sweet young lady kept saying “yes!”
4. Improved My Aim
The days of expending energy and affection on women who didn’t have strong marriage potential ended. I finally had an optimized target, the ability to read and the discipline to walk past distractions. No matter how attractive or appealing a woman was, if I didn’t see clear evidence of a tender heart and commitment to the Lord I hurried on by. Improved aim helped me spot my wife like a laser beam across the room.
Are you ready to initiate?
You’ve been given the resources to pursue your wife. Unlock the secret sauce of initiative and your pursuit will lift off. For now it’s time to be a man and follow your heart as far as you can!
Decide. Declare. Write. Act!